Love That Hurts

I want to get a little personal with you this evening.  This blog is all about learning to love one another and that’s something I’ve been really grappling with recently.  I realized tonight just how raw I am feeling.  For the past week or two (let’s be honest – it’s been two) I’ve been on the brink of tears constantly.  And it’s because I have been experiencing a love that is truly uncommon and painfully absent in this world.

I’m not talking about a romantic love but rather, something far deeper.  The kind of love that is undeserved, uncalled for, unnecessary, and wholly uncommon.  The kind where someone who owes you nothing humbles themself to serve you.  The kind where someone takes time to care about you when they stand little to gain.  The kind that breaks open your past pain (no matter how badly you don’t want it to) and lets all the ache pour out and it pours, pours, pours in the healing.

That’s the hard part.  The healing.  The opening up the past times when people haven’t loved you like they should.  The delving into and remembering the ones that have mistreated you, taken advantage of you, manipulated and lied to you, turned their back to you when you needed someone the most.  Or maybe worse – the ones who have blamed you and made you ashamed for being you.

The past several years have been full of pain like that for me.  For the first time in my life, I understand just a little bit why wounded people inflict unspeakable pain on the ones that love them the best and the most.  Sometimes there are people in our lives that are so good, and so healing, that it hurts to be around them.  All you want to do is run for cover because you feels so open and vulnerable and aware of how everything before this kind of love was so…subpar.

Healing hurts.  It is terrifying.  It will make you want to cry all freakin’ day long!  But it is good.

I wonder.  Do I love like that?  It’s really the way God loves us.  His love is the kind that is undeserved, uncalled for, unnecessary, and wholly uncommon.  The kind where He doesn’t owe us anything but he humbled himself to serve us.  The kind where he takes time to care about us when he really stands little to gain.  The kind that breaks open our past pain and lets all the ache pour out and then pours, pours, pours in the healing.

Especially that part about healing.  Especially that.

I’ve been challenging you all a lot, and I promise, I’ll let up and be happy and carefree and not all super serious one of these days.  But there’s just one more challenge I have to issue now.

Love like that.

Be loved like that.

Don’t run for cover when you feel open, and vulnerable, and raw.  Open your heart.  Love Boldly.  And Be Loved Boldy.

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